Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Guest post: Edger by David Beem



A Superhero, a Spy…and an Evil Cow. All in a Day’s Dork. By David Beem.




Edger (pronounced Ed-jer) is a superhero romantic comedy. It’s an offbeat affair with a little something for everyone: the sexy spy, the cookie thief of destiny, mouth-breathers, the world’s greatest butt, juvenile acronyms, the A-Team, and, naturally, a compelling scene where two people drink tea in the kitchen for a heart-to-heart. Now. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking this sounds so, so great. Sign me up. And you know what? I thought the same thing. It’s why I wrote the book. But, if you’re a human with a pulse, you may also be wondering: who or what is an Edger? And: is there a plot in all this kook? Fortunately, yes, there is a plot. Edger is a normal 26-year-old guy who does tech support at Über Dork in San Diego. Less than he’d hoped to do with his life, but it pays the bills for him and his gran. The monotony of his job lifts only on those rare occasions he spots a recurrent stranger—a certain pretty blonde—shopping in the mall outside his store. That is, until the day his hopeless crush comes inside and summons him to the boss’ boss’ boss’ boss’ office. The CEO and founder of InstaTron, Über Dork’s holding company, wants to see him. Spoiler alert: this summons sparks the chain of events leading our Dork of Destiny to become the world’s first superhero! Edger’s superpower? The ability to channel the Collective Unconscious, a psychic network connecting the living and the dead. In his arsenal are the skills of Bruce Lee, the strength of Samson, the wisdom of the ages…and the dancing chops of Michael Jackson, including that one twisty foot move, crotch grab, and fedora tilt. But, like every psychic superpower to get administered through a hypodermic needle, this one comes with a prick. Someone seems to have misplaced the booster necessary for stabilizing his superpower. Without it, Edger has only three days before his brain turns to pudding. To make things trickier, an artificially intelligent cow (with a penchant for exceedingly dirty martinis) has shut down all power to the Eastern seaboard. Also, an old college rival resurfaces with secrets that may prove invaluable to Edger’s survival. Finally, that pretty blonde might be working her own angle in all this too. Whether Edger tracks down his booster in time to survive his three-day superhero stint is the two dollar and ninety-nine-cent question of the day. Which, coincidentally, happens to be the price of my e-book. HTML- Edger by David Beem Meet Edger (Ed-jer), a twenty-six-year-old gadget retail dork destined to become the world’s first superhero! His superpower: the ability to channel the Collective Unconscious, a psychic network connecting the living and the dead. In his arsenal are the skills of Bruce Lee, the strength of Samson, the wisdom of the ages...and the dancing chops of Michael Jackson—including that one twisty foot move, crotch grab, and fedora tilt. But there's a catch... Like every psychic superpower to get administered through a hypodermic needle, this one comes with a prick. Someone seems to have misplaced the booster necessary for stabilizing his superpower. Without it, Edger has three days before his brain turns to pudding. Join our Dork of Destiny as he overcomes the world’s greatest butt, two rival Cluck-n-Pray gangs, an evil cow, a Green Bay Defensive Tackle, rifle-toting assassins—and a pair of stoners who inadvertently create the world’s first supervillain after a wild night on Twitter!

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David Beem enjoys superhero movies, taekwondo, and flossing. He lives in Djibouti with his family and crippling self-doubt. Help actualize David’s inner confidence. Visit his website today, and buy all the stuff. www.davidbeem.com / Facebook / Twitter
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