Guest Post: It's Not Your Journey by Rebecca Lombardo

In her first published work, Rebecca Lombardo collects her internationally followed blog into the pages of It's Not Your Journey. Rebecca shares her struggles with bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, self-injury, and recovery from a suicide attempt. Rebecca candidly reveals her real and raw feelings on these subjects, as well as addressing other issues that have contributed to her downward spiral and eventual climb out of her own pit of despair. Issues such as the loss of her mother to lung cancer, the death of her brother, abandonment from friends and family members due to her hospitalization, and more. Purchase on Amazon 

 I'm 43 years old and have been happily married for nearly 15 years. I enjoy reading, writing, music, watching movies and sports. I live in Michigan with my husband and our cats. At age 19, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I have struggled with mental illness in many forms for more than 20 years. I'm a published author, bipolar blogger, and a mental health advocate. In addition, I am about to become a contributor for the Huffington Post.

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                                     Guest Post:

My Recovery from Self-injury 

Recovery means many different things to many different people.  It’s a very difficult and personal journey. Not everyone is strong enough to realize they need help, let alone know what to do once they get it.  You often hear people speaking about a place called “Rock Bottom.” The consensus is that to help yourself, you have to realize when you’ve hit the bottom.  Some people take years to get to that point.  Some people never get there.  I’m grateful to say that I am one of those that beat the odds.  I hit that bottom, and I hit it hard.  The most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do was make my way back up. 

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 19. I started taking medication at that time and still do at 43.  I’ve always been realistic about my condition.  Having attempted to exist without medications, I know that they are a necessary evil.  If I stop taking them, it doesn’t take long for me to fall into a deep, dark depression.  If the physical symptoms of withdrawal don’t kill me first.  

I’m logical enough to understand that I will never fully recover from bipolar disorder, and I’m OK with that.  Some people have to take medication for the rest of their lives for diabetes or heart disease.  So, I don’t burden myself with the thought of getting better.  Don’t get me wrong, I am always trying to improve myself and the way that I feel, but I know that there is no cure for bipolar disorder.  

In my late 20’s I made the mistake of thinking that I might not want to be around anymore.  My depression was beginning to take over my life.  Even relatively normal heartaches seem to affect me much greater than the average person.  I was experiencing migraines that started at the age of 12.  The older I got, the worse they got.  I felt like I had lost complete control over my life, so I was going to try to kill myself.  I was using an old razor, and when I didn’t receive the desired effect, I kept going.  Eventually, I stopped thinking about dying and starting to experience what could only be described as calm.  I had no idea that this was “a thing”.  My mind just kept taking me back to the thought that I was such a failure at life, I couldn’t even commit suicide correctly. 

Eventually, self-injury became a huge part of my life.  I had rituals, songs I played, an entire box of instruments, and a safe place to hide them.  One night, I made a mistake and went too far.  I couldn’t possibly confess to my parents what I was doing, so I did the only thing I thought I could. I called my then (abusive) boyfriend, and asked him for help.  He drove me to his sister’s house because she had once studied to be a medical assistant.  Sitting at her dining room table, she stitched up my arm, with no sanitation and no numbing solution for the pain.  

As I got a little older, self-injury wasn’t necessarily as important to me, but it was always in the back of my mind.  I was humiliated when I would date, and the guy would see my scars.  I was covered with them.  In May of 2001, I officially started dating the man that would become my husband.  He was extremely supportive, but just as confused as anyone else was.  He didn’t understand that I was already beating myself up enough; I didn’t need him to get mad at me for the behavior.  Eventually, we started working through it, and my urges were much less frequent.  



In fact, I went five years without an incident until 2013.  

Despite the fact that self-injury was no longer a big piece of my life, I still kept some instruments hidden in our house.  When my life went into a full-on tailspin that June, it was the only thing I could think about. Truthfully, once I started again, I was so depressed that I didn’t care if I died.  I just wanted the pain to stop.  With each pass over my skin, I felt a myriad of emotions.  Failure, fear, guilt, and even a small amount of relief.  I couldn’t stop sobbing, and eventually I must have cried myself to sleep because I woke up some time later to my doorbell ringing. My husband had called my family from work and sent my dad and my sister over.  At that point, I was the only one that knew I had also swallowed a full bottle of medication.  

I was admitted to the hospital, and later I was committed by the state.  It was the worst experience I have ever had in my entire life.  It was a horrible, horrible facility.  I played the game and was a model patient.  After four days, they let me out. Driving home from that hellhole with my husband, I swore I would never take another sharp instrument to my skin again.  I pushed all of my past failures to the side. I started a clean slate.  I developed my own coping skills, and I started writing.  I wrote a lot.  It began as a blog but has become a book.  I am proud to say that I’m now a published author.  My book is available on Amazon! I still can’t seem to wrap my head around that! 

Don’t get me wrong, I still have urges.  They may never go away.  However, I know now how to put a voice to my feelings and communicate with my loved ones.  I’m now just shy of three years clean.  I’m proud of the changes I’ve made in my life.  Of course I wish I had found an easier way to get in this direction.  I wish I could take back all of the pain I caused, but I don’t focus on that anymore.  I’m trying my hardest to focus on the here and now.  I’m getting stronger every day. I’m sharing my story with anyone that will listen in hopes that I can help erase the stigma surrounding mental illness. I consider myself an advocate for mental health, and I truly feel like people can learn from my experiences. Whether you’re struggling with bipolar disorder, self-harm, a suicide attempt, or severe depression, know that I’ve been there. Take my story as a cautionary tale. Don’t follow my path. Be realistic and use your voice. Tell someone…tell everyone how you feel! You don’t have to suffer in silence. My goal is to help more people see that hurting yourself is never the answer. If you learn anything from me, please know that you are capable of so much more.  

Blog: www.judgmentfreezone2013.blogspot.com
Website: www.rebeccalombardo.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/notyourjourney
Twitter: www.twitter.com/bekalombardo 

Amazon link for the book: http://www.amzn.com/0692509739

Book Blast and Give Away: Building Victoria by M D Cooper

Building Victoria by M.D Cooper

The Intrepid is drifting slowly between the stars. After near calamity at LHS 1565, the ship is headed for Kapteyn's Star to make repairs. There, the crew will need to spend decades building a temporary industrial base. Across the void, the Noctus prepare to leave Sirius for the same destination. Their plan is to colonize the system and forge a new lives for themselves ... if they aren't destroyed by their government first. In an epic tale spanning over a century, General Tanis Richards finds herself in another fight for her life as the new colony of Victoria is built under the threat of interstellar war.

Now Available on Amazon

 

About M.D Cooper:

After years of attempting to write fantasy stories I decided to try my hand at science fiction. I've always been a fan of sci-fi and really took to it. Like many authors, the first book you try to get out doesn't always see the light of day and that original manuscript is still waiting for its time to shine. However, that didn't slow me down, and I have three books released: Outsystem, A Path in the Darkness, and Building Victoria. These books begin the Intrepid Saga, a series of books which follow the crew of a colony ship as they make their way between the stars. The fourth book in the series will be out on November 1, 2016, and the fifth book is already in the works. During the day I am a software engineer at a company which builds sites and services around the open-source CMS named Drupal. I find that starting with a blank canvas and writing code is not that different than writing stories. When not writing stories or code I'm usually my wife and daughter, or doing carpentry--a hobby which I've been growing over the years. My other interests include astronomy, cars and racing, blacksmithing, movies, and just about any creative work one can do. Amazon Author Page | Facebook | Twitter | Website | Aeon 14 | Newsletter

The author is giving away a Malcolm Reynolds Pop Figure!! He's adorable.

giveaway ends 7/21/16 at 11:59 pm EST. a Rafflecopter giveaway

Review: Forgetting Jane by CJ Warrant

Amnesia and an unspeakable crime have stolen everything from Jane Doe except the haunting image of a girl in a yellow dress, which replays itself over and over in her mind.

Small town cop Elias McAvoy is haunted as well, by the crushing guilt he feels over the deaths of two women, one by his own hand. He can’t-he won’t-let Jane down too.

Together they delve deeper into Jane’s case, battling against her memory loss, and an increasingly tangled web of lies and murder that span forty years-and ties Elias and Jane together in ways they never imagined. As the mystery of the girl in the yellow dress unfold, so does Elias and Jane’s love for each other. However, when the killer reappears, intent on finishing what he started, Elias must face his demons in order to save the woman he loves or lose her forever.

Pre-order on Amazon

                                               Review:

Jane is found, badly beaten and close to death, She is rushed to the hospital and Cop Elias is very determine to find what happened to her and keep her safe.Jane has memory loss and is in danger still with her attacker on the loose. She keeps on talking about the girl in the yellow dress a ghost Elias finds out. When more people and himself see her, he has to accept it. Jane and Elias fall in love but if it can hold and if they manage to keep Jane safe? or do they need help? buy the book and find out yourself, I promise it is worth it.

Great book, nice pace, characters are well worked out,real thrill, I figured out who the killer was, but wasn't sure till the last part of the book, really good!!!

July 4th Summer of Reading $150 Amazon GC Giveaway

Welcome to the 4th of July Summer of Reading Giveaway!

The authors below are offering up $150 Amazon Gift Card to you can get your read on!

Please check out the books below, some are Free, Free with KU, or Inexpensive.

Young Adult

New Adult

Sweet Romance

Contemporary Romance

Women's Fiction

Paranormal Romance / Urban Fantasy

Science Fiction

Want to win a $150 Amazon Gift Card? Follow the authors in the rafflecopter below for a chance. Open WW 18+ Ends July 20, 2016 @ 11:59 PM EST

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Book Blast: The Enigmatologist by Ben Adams $.99 sale till July 8

Twenty-something, John Abernathy is disillusioned. His job as a private investigator is unfulfilling, and he can’t find work in his chosen field, Enigmatology, the study and design of puzzles. He is about to quit when the National Enquirer calls. A woman in Las Vegas, New Mexico sent them a photo of someone who’s supposed to have died 35 years ago—Elvis Aaron Presley. And they need John to investigate it. When the Elvis impersonator, Al Leadbelly, is murdered, John investigates, finding Air Force colonel, Alvin Hollister—convinced Leadbelly has information regarding Elvis's death—at the crime scene conducting his own investigation. John discovers great-great-great grandfather's journal—unearthing a conspiracy entwining Elvis, shape-shifting aliens, and Mary Todd Lincoln. When John finds Leadbelly, alive and wearing a sequined jumpsuit, John must help him escape before Colonel Hollister finds him, and discover if Leadbelly is really Elvis, an obsessed fan, or something more. 
Buy for only $.99 on Amazon 
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Review: Blood Debt by Jill Cooper

The queen of the underworld has a new play toy and her name is Jessica Blood.

Bad boy Duncan Jasper and passive healer Amanda Blood are on the run for their lives with a horde of demons on their tale. The queen of the underworld, Lourdes, wants Amanda to free Lourdes from her prison and it’s all on Duncan to keep this from happening.

But Amanda’s soul is fractured and bleeding thanks to the torture she suffered at the hands of the high-level demon, Vaughn. Now a painful ritual is her soul’s only chance at survival. If Duncan fails, Jessica Blood may never be free from the chains that bind her to Lourdes.

Demons swarm to their location and Jessica walks right into a trap they’ve set for her. But to cure her sister, Amanda will have to embrace the pain and welcome the beauty of death.

All before they get ready to stand off against Lourdes and the demons of hell, coming to claim their souls.

Hold onto your seats! Long-held family secrets and heartache are about to be revealed.

Order on Amazon (Free on KU)

Buy Blood Lust Book 1 Amazon

                                   My Review:

Book 2 of the Blood series.
We meet the Blood sisters, their aunt, Duncan and Priest Mike. Amanda in Vaughn's hands needs to be set free but Vaughn has a fortress and is hard to penetrate. But Jessica, Duncan and Mike have no choice. Amanda the sweet caring spirit doesn't deserve all evil around her so they do all they can to get her out. They steal the train with a new supply drugs, so they can bargain. You need to get the book youself to find how it turns out, I promise you it is worth it!!
Another great book from Jill, her writing style is awesome, her characters strong and her stories fast pace and so many sideways in it, it never stops to surprise you!

Book Tour & Release day: Unbridled Trails by Bonnie R. Paulson

A vengeful cowboy seeking justice loses his heart to a damsel-in-distress, but can the results of saving her outweigh their chance at love? Kyle Darby doesn't want to be a lonely ranch hand forever. If he can help his cousin run a ranch, his chances at future foreman will be drastically increased. But his need to find revenge for his sister clouds his logic. Sherry isn't into dating or anything normal - she studies bugs for crying out loud. When Kyle rescues her one night at a bar, she finds it hard to believe his continued interest is sincere. Used to saving herself and her heart, Sherry has to accept that sometimes she needs help. With her life hanging in the balance, Sherry has to learn to rely on someone else - Kyle. Can she do it without losing her heart? Or are they both destined to just be along for the ride? Buy on Amazon / iBooks / Kobo / Nook


About  Bonnie R. Paulson:
Bonnie R. Paulson mixes her science and medical background with reality and possibilities to make even myths seem likely and give every romance the genetic strength to survive. Bonnie has discovered a dark and twisty turn in her writing that she hopes you enjoy as much as she has enjoyed uncovering it. Dirt biking with her family in the Northwest keeps her sane. Follow on: Facebook / Website/ Twitter / Goodreads / Newsletter/ Literary Addicts / Amazon Reader Giveaway - Boxed Ebook Set of Westerns, cowboy soap, & $10 Amazon Gift Card. Fill out the form to enter. US addresses only 18+ a Rafflecopter giveaway